It all started back in 1993, and over the last 15 years, we have maintained our consistency, losing on average only about 2 games per season. Losing, however, doesn't mean as much, because there are no finals. For this reason alone, the game is played more for fun and enjoyment, with a high level of skills on display. The emphasis is on celebrating the game on and off the field, especially in the bar afterwards. Wednesday is training night at 6pm, all are welcome.

STATE REPRESENTATION

Since our inception, we have had representatives in the State teams. The National Carnival is divided into divisions: Superules for over 35's, Masterules for over 40's and Seniorules for over 45's, Super Seniors for over 50's and Veterans for over 55.

· For further details, contact Léon Day: 8449 8427; Greg Hamilton 8353 6041; Ted Mills 8449 2651

Yours truly,

Hammers, Teflon and Luscious

N.B Details may change

Match Reports 2008

March 30^th

Round 1

Blackwood defeated Portland 10 – 11 to 7 – 6

Best players – Boin, Dowling, Ryan, Johnson, Harding, Mack

Goals – Weidemann 3, Adami, Johnson, Elliott and Boin all 1

Portland travelled to Blackwood for game one, in which 26 players suited up, an exceptional number. Targeted recruiting over the summer break paid dividends, in terms of numbers but some of our younger brigade were withheld in mothballs to be released when the time is ripe. Dipper, Irish, Annie, AJ and Jonesy are just five of them. They all acquitted themselves admirably. Billy Elliott returned, as did Suma and Akko was ready after a full pre-season. The game was of a good quality and Blackwood opened very well, opening to an early 3 goal lead. Brad, Jonesy and Captain Daisy acquitted themselves very well.

From quarter time, the game evened out and second quarter players that played well were Irish, Brad, CJ, Dazza and Daisy.

After half time, our fitness started to show through but some skill errors stopped us taking control of the game. Annie, CJ, Dipper and Daisy continued to shine.

The last quarter was one of missed opportunities but we kept trying until the bitter end. The loss of Akko, early in the game was important but it was inaccurate kicking for goal that robbed us of nay opportunity to win. Dummy-spit awards go to Hollywood, who, after he was told he was not full forward, refused to kick a goal from 7 attempts.

The coaching staff welcomed the inclusion of “Habib the Walker” who carried messages with clarity and speed. Ronnie also joins us as a welcome strapper and we acknowledge the good game played by Sam Goode for Blackwood.

Well done Blackwood Superules and the 2008 season is now underway!

April 13^th

Round 2

Portland defeated Hills 13 – 6 to 9 – 2

Best players – Weidemann, Johnson, Martinovic, Kerrison, Adami, Day, R.

Goals – Crack 3, Adami 3 Weidemann 2, Wigan 2, Johnson, Johnson, Green and Carmody, J. all 1

Portland travelled to Rosewater, just around the corner, to play Hills (go figure!) and 30 turned up to play. We hope that many will travel to Murray Bridge for our next game.

Hills filled a full side, full of youth and run. The game was on! Captain Slug had obviously celebrated too much over the weekend and didn’t provide ht e inspiration Coach Doyle was looking for. The other 17 were very, very good. Into a 4 goal breeze, Portland held its own thanks to the likes of the Weed, CJ, Marty and Dipper. The second quarter was also willing and thanks to Wiggsy, Weed, Kero and CJ, we were well placed at half time.

The third quarter became a truly titanic struggle of two formidable foes. From the first bounce, thumbs were locked in a goal for goal wrestle! Nobody was willing to leave the ground. Portland had the edge, despite again kicking into a 4 goal wind. The introduction of Crackers, Herby, Reckers, Crash and Dazza in that quarter stemmed the tide that could have been Hill’s juggernaut. This fresh blood led the way and we enjoyed a lead of 1 point at the last break that was a panacea for the team, with the knowledge we had the breeze behind us in the last quarter.

Portland then took control. The last quarter demonstrated a commitment to fitness and enterprise which would pay immediate dividends, with a 6 goal onslaught from the likes of Weed, Suma, Hammer and Cracky.

Henry, in a welcome return, was a ball magnet but executed the most atrocious kick for goal, twice! The Weed was magnanimous in his support of the umpires and Ajay won the fashion stakes with his carefully designed swimsuit, courtesy of the Australian Olympic swim team. Several players were needed to extract the said garment after the game. Excellent attendance in the Rosewater clubrooms after the game by the Portland boys was well received from the Rosewater “Dogs.”

April 27th

Round 3

River Murray defeated Portland 7 – 6 to 6 - 1

Best players – Jones, C., Zafran, Martinovic, Dorian, Day, R., Andrysczczak, Walker

Goals – Boin 2, Smith 2, Carmody, G., 2 Weidemann 1

The trip to Murray Bridge was daunting to those who hadn’t driven in the rain before. However, the local farmers weren’t rejoicing because the weather was fine for our game. We wish that some of them had been off on their tractors after a refreshing rain because we were beaten, not just by a faster, more skilful side but also by our ineptitude. Portland lost a game that was within control.

We welcomed two new players amongst our 28 ½ players: Paul “RoboCop” Dorian and Scott “Jonesy” Jones. Returning from last year were Strawbs, Locky, Max and Sicko and after 4 years away, Vic Zafran.

Proof of our ineptitude was when Sicko went to kick the wrong way after receiving a free, the Weed passing off to Teddy (who was playing for the opposition!) and Zippity travelling 110 k to play 6 minutes of footy before being sent off (Mad Dog Marshmallow). On the positive side though, Spence was strong at the ball, taking out Boiny and Daisy in one action.

The co-ordinated approach of the coaching staff meant that the team was a little disorganised. The game was played in good spirits and there were patches of brilliance but we could not finish the job. Well done to Robo, Vic, Marty and Captain Herb who all played well all day. Individual acts of selflessness were Henry’s smother, Boiny’s rain maker kick, Scott Jones’ goal for the opposition, Strawb’s new boots, Teddy offering to play for the opposition and the bench players remarking that it felt as cold as sitting on the jetty fishing!

Thanks to Murray Bridge for the country music festival and Daisy and Marny are still there dancing. If only we had listened to our only request of the band – “Stand by your Man!” The next game is in three weeks against powerhouse SHOCs

May 18^th

Round 4

Portland defeated SHOC 11 - 9 to 6 - 10

Best players – all played well but the following deserve mention - Kerrison, Dorian, Mack, Johnson, Green, Martinovic

Goals – Kerrison 3, Hartshorne 3, Lovegrove 2, Smith, Crack and Adami all 1

Portland hosted SHOC for our first home game of the season, it also being the first time the two sides had met. They had entered the competition last year and until today, were undefeated. The Portland coach asked for a huge turn up and 27 players answered the call, with a full compliment of support staff. Notable absentees were Crash and Luscious, who chose a charitable match at West Lakes instead!

The enthusiastic and committed Portland outfit were keen to perform for the spectators amassed on the hill and at quarter time SHOC knew there was a game to be played. All played well in this quarter but highlights were Daisy in ruck, with Vic, Robo, CJ and Marty dominating. The second quarter was the one to hold the opposition goal-less, as the coaching staff knew SHOC was not going to lie down and accept Portland’s superiority. This was the request Coach Doyle pleaded with to his players. That and “kick 4 goals.” As if by some divine intervention, this is exactly how the 2^nd quarter panned out. At the big break, SHOC was desperately aware that Sunday footy is not just about fun but also about skill execution in the appropriate manner. Kero, Robo, Greeny, Guy and Herbie were magnanimous in their efforts and part of a great, skilful team.

After half time, the tussle was between a side that was used to winning and a side that wanted to win. Greeny was great, new comer, Patto was excellent and Jonesy was tireless in the back pocket. The Weed, Slug and Boiny were fantastic and Henry was the ball magnet who did everything asked of him. Captain, Marshmallow Lovegrove chose to display his silky skills and lasted longer than 6 minutes this week.

The last quarter saw the depth of Portland outlast the boys from SHOC and we finished the game off well, enjoying a well deserved win. In an all-round team performance, individuals were conspicuous only in moments and Coach Doyle will sleep well tonight and Wednesday’s training may be a little lighter. Thanks to Corbin and Taylor Johnson, who donated their weekly allowance to pay their Dad’s fees. It was disappointing to see that most of the “Spooners” were too embarrassed to do the “right” thing and patronise the bar. Shame on you SHOC Superules

May 31^st

Round 5

Portland defeated Pooraka 13 – 13 to 4 – 1

Best players: Kerrison, Patterson, Jewell, Andrysczczak, Harding, Zafran, Johnson, Boin

Goals: Kerrison 3, Andrysczczak 2, Smith 2, Walker 1, Daly 1, Boin 1, Zafran 1, Garuccio 1, Spencer 1 supergoal

The now famous Saturday night game, featuring Pooraka and Portland was, once again this year, played in great spirit, with both sides having no problems fielding rather full benches. The visitors’ change rooms were rather crowded due to this. AJ was captain and 31 players came to play. We welcomed Akko and Dipper back from injury and Irish back from an overseas recruitment trip. Atko survived the game, so all money invested on “The How Long Will He Last?” betting will jackpot ‘til the next game.

From the outset, Portland had control and only inaccurate kicking prevented a substantial lead at quarter time. The ball magnet, Henry and Kero led the charge and the full back line of Brad, Patto and Jonesy were solid.

The second quarter saw a more efficient attack and the goals came. Spence was taken from the field to have his GPS replaced and complained of opponents calling him names, “really bad names!” everyone was giddy, watching him run round in circles. AJ, in combination with Daisy was relishing his ruck duties and Vic, Boiny and Zipperty ware able to display skills to feed the forwards. Max, Hollywood, Wigsy and Billy Elliott thanked them and combined to kick goals.

Entertaining a now capacity crowd at Port Reserve, the 3^rd quarter saw some movement from both benches, as the frantic pace took its toll on the primed athletes. In fact, the interchange steward ran out of sticky notes. When Marty switched jumpers with Atko, his opposition only recognised the number and asked what had happened to all of his hair. The new breed of players, who stepped up to the plate, included Strawbs, Herb, Robo, Tom, Guy, Dazza and Crash. Kero kicked the goal of the year from the dead pocket at the southern end. Spence (Bollywood) was used as a replacement for Hollywood. This was not a tactical move. Coach Doyle was just sick of him on the boundary.

The last quarter saw Henry rested to nurse his sore foot (too many kicks) and Kero rested to stop a few scouts pestering him. The goal of the year he kicked only lasted one quarter, as Blacky kicked one better, only to be surpassed 10 minutes later by Vic’s. Sadly, Spence’s GPS didn’t kick in until 30 seconds from the end of play but he did kick the first supergoal of the year, after the siren. CJ, Marty, Johnny B (after the KO) were very good and it was another great team effort.

Special thanks to Trevor Thomas for his role as team manager, Sicko for doing the goals and Corbin Johnson on the scoreboard. As runner, Lionel Ritchie was invaluable and Luscious is to be thanked for just making things work. Teddles took on the job of umpiring this game and it was done with aplomb.

Round 6

Portland defeated Fitzroy, 1 – 13 – 11 to 7 – 4

Best players: Brambilla, Zafran, Atkins, Garuccio, Patterson, Jewell, Harding, Green

Goals: Zafran 4, Weidemann 2, Jones, C., Brambilla, Garuccio, Johnson, Armanini, Walker all 1 and Spencer 1 supergoal

Saturday was one of the coldest days this year but this did not deter the intrepid Portland Superules team to trek to Lobethal, the next day to play Fitzroy. The weather was conducive to a fantastic match, in which Portland displayed a highly tuned level of skills. Once again, numbers were good, with 27 players on hand. Robert “Blackie” Garuccio was captain for the day and was a star.

The first quarter was one of control with Portland kicking 5 goals to 1. Coming out of the back line, Johnny, Patto and Brad, along with Marty rewarded the forwards, constantly. One of the best supergoals witnessed in recent times was executed by the master, Spence. The second quarter saw much of the same but Fitzroy often turned the ball over far too often. Their skill execution was below par and frustrated their forwards, including Luscious and Dazza, who played for the Lions, to equalise numbers. Players to come to the fore were CJ, AJ, Greeny and Boiny who controlled the centre, feeding the forwards well.

At half time, the team was re-arranged. Whilst more goals were kicked, the opposition lifted their work rate and became much more influential. Soon after the Weed was dragged, balance was restored. Marty admitted 2 goal assists to Fitzroy, one after falling for that old chestnut, being called out by his opponent. Never introduce yourself by your correct name before the match! He also struggled to pick between 2 opponents, who each wore the number 10.

At ¾ time, a mission to secure a goal for Suits was given to the players and thanks to “Woman” Ritchie, this was achieved. The unstoppable Akko was great, as he nursed his hamstring along and Dipper and Henry attracted the ball like magnets.

The game was played in the right spirits and umpired superbly by club umpires, Teddy and Ross. Well done guys. Demonstrating this super Superules spirit were Dazza and Luscious (back from injury), who donned the Lions guernsey. The experiment of Patto up forward was not a success, although he did manage to get the ball well. The decision to GPS Billy Elliot failed to register 50 yards travelled and the loss of CJ and Jonesy to injuries early was the only downside to an otherwise brilliant team effort on this sunny Sunday.

Round 7

Portland Superules defeat Wests in the Original Super Slowdown.

Playing for a trophy in a Superules game would seem to be against the philosophy of the code but this game could not have been a better exhibition of the true spirit of Superules. The much anticipated Super Slowdown was played against West in perfect conditions on Saturday night, at Flinders Park. Portland was well represented with 35 players and a good support crowd. The commitment of our players to this clash was typified by Patto and Vic. Patto, as captain, passed on a trip to Queensland to be available and Vic asked if he could be released at half time to complete celebrations at his wife’s birthday party.

As has always been the case, this game was played in the true spirit of Superules and a good and fair contest was on display. The first quarter saw Portland establish a dominance, kicking 7 goals 7 behinds to 2 goals 1 behind. The early playing group were all good but special mentions must go to debutant Pratty, Kerro, Cracky and Hollywood, who found his supergoal boots. His check-side drop kick was special, although, he described it as a 9 iron wedge.

The second quarter was more of the same, with Portland kicking 4 goals 1 behind to 1 goal. A.J. and Daisy were the dominant ruckmen, who fed Marty, Boiny, Rechers and Pratty. Most forward thrusts by West were repelled by Brad, Patto, Robo and Lionel.

The third quarter saw wholesale changes to the Portland line up, to cater for the long playing list but the dominance continued with Portland kicking 3 goals 3 behinds to 2 behinds. Wiggy’s tunnel ball goal was a highlight, as was Billy Elliott’s snap from one metre out. Blacky’s decision to prepare by drinking till 4am on Friday night, bore fruit, as he dropped 6 marks and kicked poorly. .Luscious (the President) was an impressive influence in the backline and Kerro continued to impress.

Such was the control Portland had of the game, that at ½ time, we were able to play Teddles in the last quarter. This was a game were Portland displayed good skills across the entire game and to mention only some players, is not a true reflection of the quality of all members of the team. This was a game were all players did play well. Habib, the Walker, deserves a special mention, having to carry many messages across a big ground. Slug’s 6 minutes was of high quality and Max Walker was glad he swapped shifts to play 20 minutes of football.

Best players: Kerro, Robo, Pratty, Daisy, Brad, Cracky and Hollywood.

Goals: Hollywood 3, inc 2 supergoals, Kerro 3, Cracky 3, Vic 1, Suits 1, Elliott 1, Wiggsy 1.

August 10^th

Round 10

Portland defeated South, 10 – 16 to 7 – 6

Best Players: Greg Atkins, Johnny Brambilla, Rodney Pratt, Tim Rtchie, Robert Day, Andrew Harding, Gary Adams, & Gordon Smith.

Goal kickers: C.J. 2 inc. 1 supergoal. Dipper 2 Robo 1, Tim Tam 1 super goal, Daisy l, Herbie 1, Crash 1, Dazza Martin 1.

On a cold wintery day Portland's annual auction side took to the field against South at home. So confident was the game day coach of victory, that he fielded only 17 men in the first half. All players were very keen to kick goals with the knowledge that the runner of the day, Marnie, would give them a kiss. This policy proved so successful that Habib, the Walker is at home puckering up for the Rosewater game. One new player was blooded – Andrew (Red) Merritt.

The first quarter saw a spirited clash with goals from Crash, Robo, Daisy, (no kiss for him - family dispute) and a super goal from Tim Tam. Acko, as captain, took his responsibility to heart and played a blinder. Locky, in ruck, was matched by a similar sized man from South’s and was dominant. Well done South Super Cats for entering into the spirit of Superules – Footy for Fun.

With the second quarter into a howling cyclonic wind, saw South fight back and only a great mark by Johnny B allowed Portland to maintain the upper hand. His courageous mark was passed to Strawbs, on to Herby, then on to Blacky and then finished off by Dipper. The old adage of, “Don’t ever kick across the goals,” was highlighted in this quarter.

The third quarter saw the introduction of fresh legs and a full side. This quarter saw Portland establish a winning lead. Acko’s dominance continued and Pratty continued to find the ball. CJ, complete with 2 gloves, had an immediate impact. True to his reputation, Hollywood displayed pure skill with his stab pass to CJ, who then kicked a super goal. (Very unselfish, Gordo!). CJ missed out on the kiss because Marnie was getting the coach a coke.

The last quarter was just a slog, with Johnny B, Acko, Daisy and Dipper continuing to put in and assuring victory. Dazza Martin’s goal in the last quarter was icing on the cake. His over the shoulder snap from 65 metres into the wind was worth waiting for. The only area of concern in the last quarter was the felling of Spence. We, the spectators thought he had been shot by the Kennedy assassin but as it turned out, he was only bumped into. All agreed that the umpiring was of a particularly high quality and the resulting game was played as it should have been. Thanks to South for a game played in good spirits and well done to all players for good skills displayed in less than ideal conditions.

Friday August 22^nd

Portland defeated Rosewater.

Goal Kickers: Hollywood 3, Suma 1, Brad 1, Marty 1, Marshmallow 1

Best Players: Paul Dorian, Herbert Mack, Gavin Carmody, Robert Day, Garry Adams, Darrell Martin, Dean Kerrison, Gordon Smith

Portland travelled to Rosewater for game 10 of the season on Friday night. As has been the story all season, 30 players were available for selection, which required many moves from the bench. As a promotional exercise the club decided to play a female footballer for a few minutes but when Daisy Day was benched, the real men took over. The first quarter was played in good conditions and Portland established control early, taking a good lead into quarter time, thanks to goals from Hollywood, Brad and Marty.

The second quarter became a battle of the backlines with Herbie, Robo, Dazza and Tim Tam repelling attack after attack. The forwards were also competitive but Suma was the only goal kicker for the quarter. Kerro, Slug, and Curly worked hard and credit must go to Rosewater for their quick and efficient team play.

The third quarter was more of the same with both back lines standing tall. The Portland changes at half time bought Sicko (co-owner of Mayfair Bakery) into the game and he and Crash Adams continued the good work of those before them. The introduction of our first Jamaican recruit, Insane Bolt, produced results, as he kicked a goal, (assisted by Locky), with his first touch. Henry continued to find the ball and amassed many touches, only to butcher them in front of goal. Pratty obviously went to the same school of kicking and Portland only carried in a 4 goal lead at three quarter time.

The last quarter was more of the same, with the ball travelling from one backline to the other. Two fabulous soccer goals from Hollywood ensured the victory. The decision to play Luscious at centre half forward was not the master stroke the coach was looking for but he is the President, after all. Captain of the day, Tom Daly was happy and drinks were supplied to all players. Good effort by everyone and a special mention to the engine room of Daisy, Spence, Johnny B, Dipper, Dave (Colin) Boin and Pratty.

Last game is next Sunday and Wednesday’s training is shitty shorts night.

Let me know numbers for the dinner on Sept. 5th please

Round 12

Sunday August 31^st

Portland defeated Gawler Districts 7 – 10 to 1 - 4

Goal Kickers: Armanini, Andryszczak, Smith, Boin, Day, R, Kerrison & Carmody all 1

Best Players: Martinovic, Mack, Brambilla, Day, R, Spencer, Kelly, Dowling & Carmody

Best Players for Gawler: Kerrison, Green

After a short 9 day rest, Portland travelled to Elizabeth to play Gawler in the last round of the year. As has been the case all year, the numbers were good and 28 players were available. Overnight rain ensured the ground was muddy and skills were affected. Gawler, in an attempt to win, kidnapped Kerro and he played the first half for them. Ted was forced to umpire, due to Brenton’s hangover and the game got away with both sides keen to finish on a good note. On the big ground, it was genuinely a battle of defences and Portland took a 1 goal lead into quarter time. Johnny B, Spence, Herbie, Lionel & Brad all performed well in this quarter. The second quarter was more of the same between the backlines but goals to Hollywood and 2nd ruck (the best kick in the team) Henry, saw Portland carry the lead into half time. Slug, Dipper, Guy and Curly all found a lot of the ball in this quarter. In the 3rd quarter, Kerro was returned unharmed and in an attempt to offset the good work done by him, we gave them Greeny. It worked. Johnny B was very pleased to be given the role of Full Back and thanked the coach for the opportunity. The introduction of our one eyed full forward (Luscious) and Scotty Jones to the forward line proved to be a waste of time and the game entered 3/4 time quite close. Atko was very good and Brad, playing on for more than a half, was pivotal. The decision by Gawler to introduce the 19th and 20th man did help to clog up play but good reading by Robo, Marty and Herbie ensured we were still ahead going at the last change.

The last quarter was a relative goal fest with contributions from Boiny, Daisy, Kerro and Slug, which ensured victory for the visitors. Pratty’s fear of kicking goals reached new heights today, by him faking a blood nose to avoid shots at goal. All players contributed well in the last quarter and as is the case always with Gawler, the after game mixing was 1st class. A special mention must go to Suits, who played his last game and set us off with the first goal of the match. Well done Geoff, and thankyou.

This Friday is the Presentation Dinner at $10 each, 6.30