Here it is that night of nights when the wind howls and you
are feeling alone and abandoned.
I wander around the house aimlessly, searching for something
to forfill me.
As usual I reach for the comfort of all comforts, as it
slowly melts into my mouth, sweet and gentle and caressing of my tongue. Dairy
milk it says, I don't consider this an appropriate name maybe chococomfort.
Well I have my chocolate and I am still feeling empty alone
and abandoned, so much for comfort eating. I sit and want to run I find things
to amuse myself, bored easily. What is happening to me I scream inside my head,
what can I do?
"Help me, how dare you treat me this way."
"What do you want from me?"
"Love me" the voice says, "love me not through food and all
those cover ups.
Love me, allow me, and nurture me."
I walk around the house, fists tightened, pacing until I
fall to the floor in tears, sobbing.
Releasing, allowing, finally the voice says, "now she Is
loving me." I lie there rocking with my arms around me, holding me and loving
me.
"Now ask me what makes me happy? What do I want to do that
can assist me to love me?
"Well what makes me happy"
Lets paint, "paint?" Yes lets have fun and paint.
I put on some music, sit on the floor with my canvas board.
I sit quietly allow myself the moment, find a picture of my
face and with my hands I make love to the board, my cheeks my mouth and skin,
my fingers glide over the board with tenderness and love. Tears come down my
face as I am in the moment
"Now you are loving me."
I step back looking at what I have done, I feel lighter, I
haven't hidden my feelings I have allowed me, accepted me and nurtured me.
My heart has raised a beat
It sings the song of the happy joyous amazing woman that I
am.
A tender moment shared with my best friend, with the woman
that I love deeply
I hope you have enjoyed my site and my short stories. For more information on my paintings and workshops please feel free to contact me anytime. emelisa@iprimus.com.au
