There is this little girl who lives down the street she is amazing, eyes of the brightest green, smile shining brighter than a full moon reflecting on the water.
She always looks at me as I walk past, smiles and waves and I just nod at her. Each time I walk past her I feel myself sink within me and remain in that feeling till I am out of her sight. I sometimes question these feelings that arise but most of the time they never surmount to anything.
One morning I was doing my usual walk and noticed her not there, funny I felt a loss this continued for over a week my loss became worry.
The next day I decided to knock at her door and find out what is happening. Her mother answered and I said" I was concerned about her little girl, she always waves hello to me on my way to work". Her mother reached for my hand and guided me to come in. She quietly went about making me a cup of tea, the silence was killing me, she finally placed the cup down on the table. She has the same eyes as her daughter and smile yet there was an obvious spark missing.
Jane was her name, tears started to well in her eyes, I could feel myself panicking, swallowing back those feelings I haven't let out since my mother died some 10 years ago.
"Elizabeth isn't well, she was diagnosed 5 years ago with a rare disease and there isn't anything they can do for her. The doctors say she has 6 months left; every now and then she gets bouts of pain and fever that keeps her bed ridden for a week or so." The tears were just pouring down my face Elizabeth was always so sweet and beautiful to me and I always hung my head and her she is going through this and I'm miserable with so much beauty that is my life.
Jane reached for my hand, "I am sorry I said I was just feeling so horrible at everything that is happening in your lives and feeling selfish with my attitude and feelings. May I see her?" "Yes of course I am sure she would love to see you."
I walked up the creaky stairs, looking at family pictures wondering where her father is. The wallpaper was old and gloomy and I am sure was here when the house was first built. I knew they didn't have much money but they sure had a lot of love.
I stood outside the door, breathed deeply and entered. Her room was pink and full of faeries and sweet little girly things. She has a picture of her mother by her bed and her father. Elizabeth's eyes were shut and I sat on the chair beside her as I looked up there was that beautiful smile that would greet me every morning.
I just lost it, tears just poured out of me deep sobs that came from so far back in my life, I felt her hand on mine and she stroked my hair as which only assisted me to cry more.
After my feelings ebbed I felt somewhat guilty and embarrassed by my reaction when this sweet little soul is the one in bed.
"Sorry about that".
"There is nothing to be sorry about I am so happy you have come to see me I look forward to you passing by each day and since I have been sick I have been missing you." " You have been missing me I never even really say much to you and tend to shy back why have you been missing me?" " You needed me and I knew in my heart that one way or another I was going to help you and it gave me something to look forward to" "I needed you?"
"Oh yes you have been carrying around hurt for so long I know you I have known you your whole life" " I looked into her eyes and for the first time I understood, tears continued to stream down my face, mother I miss you" " I have missed you to my love I have always been here"
For a moment I sat back thinking this is impossible but then she reached for a drawing and it was of a pendant my mother gave me when I was 10
"There are miracles all around us we just have to take the time to open up and see"
From that moment I spent every little bit of time I had with Elizabeth not just because she was my mother soul in this sweet tiny frail body but because I wanted to have a chance to give back what I couldn't 10 years ago.
I hope you have enjoyed my site and my short stories. For more information on my paintings and workshops please feel free to contact me anytime.emelisa@iprimus.com.au
