I still cannot get the image out of my head. I was told it would take a while and it is.

I arrived at the Glen Waverley Hospital at 12:15 pm on a windy Tuesday afternoon. When I walked into my grandfather's room two nurses were standing at the foot of his bed. Before I could whisper, "How is he...", they both gave me a very solemn stare. The elder and shorter of the two said quietly "Mr Dannock just passed away two minutes ago, I'm sorry". I looked over to the bed, he was lying so still with mouth open and eyes staring, beyond me, beyond the room and beyond this world.

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The funeral was a cheap and tawdry affair held in a down market home in an industrial estate. I read my written eulogy and tried to keep a general summary of my grandfather's life as upbeat as possible, (which is a far cry from this blog.) After the Irish Catholic priest said a few prayers and we heard a few songs we all followed the hearse to the cemetery. The coffin was lowered into the same deep hole where my grandmother lies. Charles was finally on top of Ellen in the end.

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Driving around I look at people in a very different way, young faces that will soon age, wither and die. A generation is gone in a blink of the eye then a new one begins again. Rene Rivkin the late and tragic stockbroker once mentioned to Andrew Denton on "Enough Rope" that we are all so insignificant, that hardly anyone has as an effect on the world except for maybe Louis Pasteur and a few others. I don't agree with poor ole' Rene. Generations of families and of thought all leave their mark and influence change.

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I have just started a new regime of physiotherapy, hydrotherapy and occupational therapy. I am hoping through attending Epworth Rehab twice a week it will correct my deteriorated posture which is starting to look more and more like a question mark every day. My occ health therapist Dalia has also advised I will need to have a driving assessment due to my neck being as stiff as a bloody board.

For the past twenty years I have driven with the aid of a hand mirror. This method has served me well enough, but I need to take one hand off the steering wheel when the mirror is applied. Vic roads has deemed this an illegal driving maneuver. The day I am assessed I will have both an occupational therapist and a Vic Roads assessment officer coming along for the ride, it will be like going for my licence again and it took three goes to eventually get that !

The idea is to have my car fitted with mirrors and place them in suitable positions, so I don't have to use a hand mirror and both hands are kept at the ten to two position.

My Grandfather Mervyn was taught to drive by a cop in the fifties. He was a beauty for riding the shit out of the clutch and sliding the hands on the steering wheel maintaining that ten to two faultlessly. Merv was a train guard, Australian Communist Party member plus chairman of the Victorian Railways Union and secretary of the Australia China Society. Not only that, he was stamina and fitness trainer for the Hawthorn football club. Out of all my siblings, I am the most like him. He was a loner by choice and kept relationships at a careful distance including his family.

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I am starting to discover, that as I get older I see similarities and personality traits repeating themselves in an obvious fashion. The Barbara Stanwick smile of my nephew Edward is identical to Grandad Charles.

The showoff and sensitivity of my niece Sophie is replicated in my Mother. I walk and look like my father though my brother Chris has his character traits.

Even though our ancestors may pass on, we are; as songwriter Matt Johnson says "the slow emotional replay of somebody who used to be"

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Read/Reading: "Ring" Koji Suzuki, "Enduring Love" Ian McEwan (yes finally Linda!)

T.V: Four Corners, Australian Story, 24, All Saints, South Park, Mythbusters, Ronnie Woods (Doco), Gardening Australia, Compass.

Listening to: "Chillout Sessions 8" Ministry of Sound, "Sacred Works" Vivaldi, "6 Flute Concertos" Vivaldi, "Cantata BWV 170, Cantata BWV 82, Cantata BWV 159" J.S Bach. "Music for dinner Parties" Life is Beautiful ABC Classic FM.

DVD: "Sideways"