Hello, my name is Michael. I like computers, photography, walks along the beach. I also enjoy fine food and wine. Occasionally when the mood takes me I can awaken in the morning howling like a dog, followed by an incessant session of nose picking and arse scratching. I'm hoping to meet like minded people. Must have a G.S.O.H
_______________________________
For the last two weeks I have been buried in bullshit. I seem to be swimming in it. Existing in this society requires a certain amount of expertise in mind game play. It exists on many levels of communication and negotiation, which in my recent experience has included job applications.The highest level of fraud is the internet, where it is brought to an art form when ever ICQ or Yahoo Messenger is used.
Face to face with a recruitment agency is the first con, then the fibs continue later with the follow up phone calls.
I was applying for an investigative role with a somewhat controversial electronic tollway company. It was made apparent to me that the position was mine. After seven days or more, I had this fruitless little game with my (well meaning) recruitment officer of being promised an outcome, which refused to reveal itself until the end of last week.
I got the job, but it was like applying for a job with N.A.S.A !
_______________________________
Just how honest are we to ourselves and who we come into contact with? Within my family and small circle of friends I can say I speak and communicate with a relaxed openness. The guard is let down, no fences here. I try to do the same with acquaintances and strangers, but it isn't quite the same is it ? Some of us strive to appease others and what image of ourselves we may be projecting. At this present time, I am killing myself to try and transform my physical being. Trimming down, toning up. Metro Man in overdrive. What fucking for? Because I am worried how others see me ? It's neurotic shit, that's what it is ! But we feed our ego mostly for ourselves, to enhance the mask, to verify others belief in us.
____________________________
In some cultures saving face goes hand in hand with an acceptance that is hard to fathom here in Australia. An example of this is the recent horror of Bali.
Amrozi. The so-called "smiling assassin" giggling and laughing along with his captors, who thought it all a great joke. This pathetic excuse for a human being, a misguided idealist pumped with false pride and machismo. The Cheshire cat grin and laughter belies and masks the absolute terror about to befall him, when the last sound he hears are the shots from M16 assault rifles blasting his life into blackness.
_______________________________
I have been told now that "I don't smile enough" and that I look "serious". Yet, I would be one of the least serious people I know. I am always being humorous to people who know me, be it a dry humor. I just don't feel like smiling if it doesn't warrant it. When I do grin, it's a crooked one. Anyway, there is enough false smiling already by T.V lifestyle show presenters, and that more than makes up for it.
_______________________________
Fancy meeting you here !
BILL HUNTER
Guess who stepped into my carriage? "Bill bloody Hunter, fancy meeting you here!"
I was on my way to Federation Square to see "The History of Australian Contemporary Photography", when at Elsternwick Station a tall imposing man stepped in with a long black coat and a woollen "Pork Pie" hat reminiscent of the late Manning ("I didn't get it all quite right did I") Clarke, History of Australia fame.
MANNING CLARK
He had a commanding gait and a look on his face that said, "fuck off". I briefly took it all in, thought about all the films he had appeared in, then went back to meekly gazing out the window.
_______________________________
Once in the city I saw a really appalling sight. A pale thin girl around eighteen, alighted from a tram in Swanston Street. Held in her hand was an old crinkled and very used freezer bag, which contained I believe, glue. Black evil splotches of muck clung to the inside walls of the translucent bladder, which in slow motion was brought to her mouth and deeply inhaled. After a momentary stumble, she staggered off to only god knows where.
_______________________________
The League of Gentlemen
There is one show on television I hardly ever miss, it's "The League of Gentleman". The black humor of this strange series touches the right nerve with me. I don't know why I like it so much, maybe it's the characters, they seem to reach out to a time in my childhood and early teens when I seemed to be under the influence of weird and harsh disciplinarian types. The Christian Brothers being a prime example, then there were the odd types I was introduced to as a child by my Grandfather Mervyn. I suppose I'm a glutton for punishment, just can't get enough of the dark, hideous and obscene.
___________________________________
Once again, this entry was a delayed one. Since I have been idle for the last two months there has been a few choice items worthy of comment, but like all thought, if not noted down it disipitates and scatters to the far dusty corner of the mind.
I am back at work now, so a new saga begins and with that comes the new stories. Back on the merry-go-round once more.
