Marriage still Popular

Today marriage is still popular despite ever increasing divorce rates. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, there were 110958 marriages registered in Australia during 2004, in Western Australia alone a total of 11,599 marriages were registered in 2008. And today’s newlyweds are getting older. In 1980 the average age for men was 26 years and women 23 years. Today it is 32 years for men and 29 for women.

Today the statistic reveals Civil Marriage Celebrants perform 65% of all marriages, Main stream Religions perform 33% whilst the Registry Office picks up the balance. (source ABS Aug 2009)

To marry in Australia you have to be 18 or over. It is possible to get married at 16 or 17 but only if the other person is 18 or over. In this case, parental consent and a judge or magistrate’s order is required for the minor. Two people under 18 are not allowed to marry.
 

DEFINITION

The word ‘maritus’ comes from Latin meaning husband so the act of marrying is to become a persons husband or wife, to unite a man and a women legally for the purpose of living together.

Having said that the word Wedd originated from the old Saxon word to pledge oneself. In earlier days a wedding or union was a financial situation with dowries, land and money and many years were required to resolve legal requirements of the state, county, local diocese and laws of the land prevailing at the time. Today's young couples getting married do not have such great problems as their forbearers
 

So what makes a tradition or custom?

Lets take a look at the rhyme:   

Something old and something new........
Something borrowed, something blue
Add a silver sixpence to your shoe

The something old refers to the couples friends whom they hope will remain loyal to them after their marriage.
The something new espouses a happy and prosperous future relationship for the married couple
Something borrowed is often lent by the brides family, an heirloom of sorts, something that the family  places in high value and of course must be returned in order to ensure good luck.

Not being at liberty to choose one’s own spouse may seem outrageous to us in Australia, but it was a more civilised way of getting hitched than other customs employed by ancient civilisations. In Babylon, fathers would take their daughters to bride markets, to be sold into marriage. In parts of Europe, women were literally stolen from their homes by barbarians and forced to marry them.
Once a man had nabbed his bride, he would quickly marry her before someone grabbed he. For this reason he made sure he was standing on the RIGHT of his bride with his sword hand free to fight off any unwelcome guests. Today the groom still stands on the right of the bride in Western Ceremonies.
In fact there are a few customs, which date back to the days of marriage by capture. Once the ceremony had taken place between the man and his captured bride, he would whisk her away into a secret hiding place known only to one of his raiding escorts, the BEST MAN. This period of hiding is supposed to be the precursor to the HONEYMOON.

  MAKING A PROPOSAL

 So how did men pop the question in days of yore? Did they gallantly drop on one knee? In fact, men often didn’t propose in person. Instead their representatives, either friends or members of their family, would do the honours. If the party met a blind man, a pregnant woman or a monk on the way, they would abandon their mission for these were considered bad luck omens if they continued. If, on the other hand, they met nanny goats, pigeons or wolves they were happy. These were thought lucky (though many might disagree about how lucky it is to meet a wolf – especially a hungry one!)
·       An old CELTIC custom was that of HANDFASTING. This was a type of temporary marriage. The right hands of both partners were bound together during the ceremony. A period of one year and a day followed, at the end of which the couple could renew their vows if they wished or call the whole thing off.
·       In MEDIEVAL BRITAIN when the parents of the betrothed couple met for the first time it was known as FLOUNCING. This celebration established a legal agreement between both parties. If later one or the other of the couple broke things off then the other party was entitled to half the other’s property.

BANNS

The BANNS are the public announcement/ proclamation of an intention to get married. They were introduced in AD800 by Charlemagne, a Germanic King who was made Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. He wanted to stop marriage between close family members because they were causing genetic problems and madness in society. Announcing the banns gives the community time to advise authorities if they know that the betrothed couple are brother and sister. Today the banns still form part of the wedding preparations in many countries

ARRANGED MARRIAGES

In Western cultures, ARRANGED MARRIAGES are no longer common, but the practice still continues in many places around the globe. The process involves relatives and friends of both parties coming to some arrangement about the settlement of wealth or labour for their prospective in-laws.
A DOWRY is money or property given by the bride’s family to the groom. Even in western cultures, some of today’s customs relate to the provision of a dowry. The exchange of wedding GIFTS: the practice of single girls collecting household goods such as linen and silver for their “Bottom Drawer” or a ”Hope Chest or “Glory Box”’; and the custom for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding, are all traditions related to the practice of given a dowry.
But it is not always a case of the bride’s family to pay up. In some cultures the groom has to give things of high value to the bride’s father. This is known as the BRIDE PRICE. It is intended to show respect for the bride and her family and to compensate them for the loss of their daughter’s services, if the marriage fails, her father has to return the BRIDE’S PRICE, unless there are children of the union. The children would be deemed as belonging to the groom’s family and considered adequate compensation.

WEDDING FLOWERS - POSIES

Traditional or otherwise, flowers play a big part in the wedding ceremony. In the past they were chosen for their symbolic meaning:

·       Roses for love.
·       Orange Blossom for purity and chastity.
·       Carnations for fascination.
·       Daisies for innocence.
·       Greek brides believe IVY guaranteed eternal love.
 Roman brides carried posies of HERBS to ward off evil spirits. In the Middle Ages children would throw flowers in front of the bride.

 THROWING

Throwing things at the bride and groom has always been a popular pastime. The custom of the bride tossing the bouquet is thought to have originated from a custom known as BEDDING THE BRIDE. This is when the wedding guests would accompany the bride and groom to their matrimonial chamber. There, they would play “toss the stockings” They would toss one of the bride or groom’s stocking over the heads of the newlyweds. If it landed on either of the newlywed’s noses, the thrower would be the next one wed.
CONFETTI throwing date back to early times when the bride and groom were showered with FLOWERS, PETALS, RICE or GRAIN as good luck or fertility symbols.
*1 Note: The throwing of confetti has been banned by a number of venues, churches, parks and recreation areas; instead small bottles of “wedding bubbles” are given to the children to “blow bubbles” over the wedded couple.
Confetti is Italian confectionary and represents the little sweets shaped as horseshoes, flowers or hearts that Italians threw at brides. Little CAKES were also tossed at, or crumbled over the bride as symbols of fertility. Romans had a type of cake made from wheat flour, salt and water. Later this became spiced bread. The tiered wedding cake as we know it today, was reputedly inspired by Christopher Wren’s spire at St Bride’s Church in London.
One of the weirder wedding customs hails from Yorkshire, UK, where it is traditional to throw a plate out of a window as the bride returns to her parent’s home after the wedding. If the plate breaks it means the wedding will be long and happy. If it stays intact, it is doomed. The secret probably is to ensure a hard stone pathway running outside the window and not soft grass.

 WHITE WEDDING DRESS

The concept of a WHITE wedding was made popular in the 19th Century by Queen Victoria who went against normal tradition among royal brides to wear silver. White was considered to be a symbol of purity. But other colours also have significance.
·   RED is the colour favoured by Chinese.
·   It is considered unlucky to marry in GREEN
·   YELLOW was the Roman wedding colour as it was the colour sacred to Hymen, the God of Marriage
·   BLACK was considered unlucky; as it was the colour of mourning, similarly PURPLE.
Before the 19th Century it was not customary for a bride to have her dress made purely for the wedding. Depending on the family’s income and social standing, the bride would either wear her best dress or, if she had one made, it would later become part of her wardrobe.

 THE WEDDING RING

Rings were introduced by the Egyptians around 2800BC. For them a ring signified eternity- a circle with no beginning or end.
·   Exchanging rings became part of the religious wedding ceremony in Europe around 11th century.
·    Some believe their significance goes back to the days of ancient cultures, which used cords, woven from rushes and grass, to bind themselves and their mates as a symbol of unity.
·    Others believed rings evolved from the chains used by Barbarians to capture their brides.
·    The third finger of the left hand is the common choice for the wedding ring. This thought to date back to the Romans who believed (incorrectly) that there was a special vein in this finger the vena amoris, which ran directly to the heart.
·    Jewish people wear their rings on the index finger of the right hand, in India they favour the thumb and in the Greek Orthodox Church girls wear the rings on the left hand before marriage and the right hand after marriage.
·    Whichever finger is chosen, the important thing is not to drop the ring during the marriage ceremony. It is considered an omen of disaster.
·    DIAMONDS are popular stones in an engagement ring, because they symbolise everlasting love.
·    The first diamond engagement ring was reportedly given by Maximilian of Austria to Mary of Burgundy in 1477.

Why is the ring finger so-called?

Traditionally the wedding ring has been worn on the finger of the third finger of the left hand. There are two strong beliefs why! The first

1. Dates back to the 17th Century when, during the Christian wedding, the priest arrived at the fourth finger, counting from the thumb after touching the three fingers of the left hand 'in the name of the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost'. This was known as the Trinitarian formula

2. The other belief refers to an Egyptian belief that the third finger followed the vena amoris- the 'vein of love'- the that runs directly to the heart. Through carelessness in cataloguing human anatomy, the ring finger was thought to be the connecting vein to the heart. It evolved from the Greeks and continued to Western Culture. Romans plagiarising Greek Anatomy charts adopted the ring practice without question.

CUSTOMS

·  In Pakistan it is customary to decorate the bride’s hand and feet with HENNA prior to the wedding. This is known as MEHENDI. The reason only the bride’s feet and hands are decorated is because formerly, these were the only parts visible
·   JEWISH bride traditionally marry in white with a veil covering their face. During the ceremony the bride stands to the right of the groom. The Rabbi will recite the wedding vows over a goblet of wine which the couple will both drink from. It is customary for the groom to crush the glass under his foot
·  RED is the predominant colour at a CHINESE wedding. Both the bride and groom wear red, even the guests are expected to wear as much red as possible for the Chinese believe red is the colour of joy and also the colour which wards off evil spirits.
·  Prior to the English influence Aboriginal marriages were usually arranged. A suitable husband would be found for a girl shortly after her birth. Generally, however, she did not marry until after puberty. Often the man chosen for her would. Often the man chosen for her would be a lot older as it was thought beneficial for him to have a young woman take care of him, and possibly his older wives, as he grew old.
·  An old WELSH wedding custom was for a “gwahoddwr” or bidder to go from house to house to bid or invite people to attend the bidding and the wedding. The bidding was where the whole community was given the opportunity to meet the prospective couple. Often the bidder would recite some poetry or some eloquent prose.
·   In 18th century YUGOSLAVIA, a bride was lucky to make it through the wedding with her head intact! One of the customs was for the most important guest at the ceremony to slice the crown of flowers off her head with his sword.
·   An old custom used by Bedouin tribes to announce their betrothal, was to visit the parents of their intended and sacrifice a lamb.
·   Ancient Romans would kill a pig and study it entrails to determine the best time to marry.

Thus were the old Customs and Traditions borne by the generations for all of us to ponder life's values. What impact are we to have on future generations - for us to pass onto them?
 

HONEYMOON

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with  all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, - which we know today as the honeymoon

SPEECHES

One very important custom  to mention are speeches at Wedding Receptions, only too often have we sat through the nervous speaker who neither cared or prepared speech or response. At this link there are literally dozens of examples of speeches for all in the wedding party to refine and get ideas, see the Goodies page for all speech examples

STARS

In days of yesteryear, Old Customs and Traditions were driven by the stars, it may be worthwhile checking out you and your partner's starsigns if you are influenced by them.