General sales begin 18 days before a Home fixture and are available through the credit card hotline, or Little Ron who can be found standing on the corner of Main and Mangrove Streets. Club management does not in any way endorse the activities of Little Ron but regretfully admits that his tickets are more likely to be genuine than those purchased through the club's credit card hotline.

Postal Applications

Postal applications frequently exceed the number of tickets and a ballot system is administered. All postal applications must include a stamped self-addressed envelope and a "tenner" to increase your chance of success.

Personal Application at the Ticket Office

Personal applications at the ticket office under the Kennel start 11 days before a match. This is pointless however, as all tickets will be sold out via postal and telephone bookings before this time. The only reason the club employs Blind Harry at the ticket office is to keep the Equal Opportunity Commission off our backs.

Away Matches

Subject to application being made in accordance with the instructions issued and how well you know a club official, priority for these fixtures will be based on a loyalty system or acquaintances of club chairman Lord Sathington Willoughby. Priority will be given to season ticket holders on the number of League fixtures attended in the current season. Those numbers will then be cross-tabulated with the number of cup matches attended the previous season which is then measured on a sliding scale in accordance to the amount of club merchandise purchased. Any season ticket holder who can interpret this system, let alone abide by it, will be allocated a ticket as no one but a dedicated Rovers fan would even bother.

Swampside Park Ticket Prices

All category A seating is above the high tide mark. Patrons seated in Category B are advised to bring a life-ring.