The government today revealed plans to initiate a WMD buy-back scheme which will operate in a similar  way to the guns buy-back scheme, which officials say has proven to be an outstanding success.

Questioned as to the probability of the owners of WMD being prepared to hand them back, the official pointed out that owners will be offered a fair market price and that there will be an amnesty period leading up to legislation outlawing the possession of these items (except for specially exempted persons or organizations, e.g. black ops. operatives, CIA operatives, FBI operatives. Mossad and similar approved persons.)

"Anyone without a permit (obtainable online from the Pentagon website) after the start of the prohibition period will make us very cross", asserted the official.