By an incredible stroke of luck, the timing of the Australian review of its defence priorities coincides with the tremendous advances being made by diligent researchers in the field of genetic engineering.

     With so many novel opportunities open to the visionary acquisitions committee member, why not take advantage of this truly remarkable situation to bolster defence capabilities at a much cheaper price than the less than satisfactory Collins class submarines?

     Any self respecting GM laboratory would doubtless have no trouble in bringing together a teensie-weenzie bit of pigeon with the little fellow pictured below.

     Why, you might ask, would you want to do that? Certainly not to add a few feathers to enhance his Geronimo image. No, the bit that is needed is the homing part.

     Imagine, if you will, a homing stealth crocodile, and then you immediately see the military  potential, - enemy invasion, round up crocodiles, pack 'em in crates, release them at far side of invasion force, and stand back.

     Of course, all this technology does not come absolutely free, and the next time you visit your local pet shop intending to buy a pet saltie for the backyard, do expect the price to have risen by approximately 6%, which will be the cost of the ensuring that you get exactly what you are expecting to get, - an unmodified croc. Look on this as your insurance.

     It may be wise also, just in case the laboratory should inadvertently mix a few thousand bushels of modified crocs in with the ordinary ones, to do your own check on your saltie whilst it is still Size S, as by the time it grows to Size M, it can be quite a handful, and the Size L gives no change at all.