Following the release of reports into the accuracy or otherwise of pre-war assessments of Iraq's weapons capabilities, the elation was palpable today as Bush, Blair and Howard gleefully announced that, - "See, we told you, we were not lying, we were just deaf, dumb, blind and criminally stupid"

"If only we'd had an inkling that these assessments were not 100% accurate, we would have thought twice about going into Iraq, but you have to understand that it was very difficult to get in touch with each other to compare notes at the time, because for some reason or other, streets seemed to be blocked by inconsiderate exhibitionists, - millions of them, it seems, - who were getting up to all sorts of things to attract our attention. Didn't these people realize that we had important decisions to make? What with jamming our email systems with pathetic messages, calling our people on the phone at all sorts of hours, not to mention producing millions of websites about us, it was really difficult.  It got so bad, that the only opportunity we could get for a reasonable photo-shoot was in The Azores.

"Anyway, now that we have cleared up that matter, let's all forget about the whole thing, and look forward to being re-elected, so that with the experience we now have, we can go on to bigger and better things."