The Pub of the Future

    The pub has for centuries been the centre of social life in both large and small communities, - the stop-over place for weary travellers where the cares of the world could be forgotten or discussed with new-found friends, - the local meeting place where new alliances were made and romances blossomed. 

    The place to quench a thirst after a hard day’s work for the farmer. The returned soldier and his pals could swap tales of epic adventures in the bar. The spot where the elderly clergyman could sit by the fire to ponder the ways of both this world, and the next. A quiet drink and a smoke with neighbours in the snug would see the lonely widow comforted for another week. The up-and-coming musicians would hone their skills before appreciative audiences. Groups of office workers would hold weekly get-togethers. Of late, the keen sports fan and his mates could watch their football team’s progress, or lack thereof, on television sets installed especially for their benefit. 

But, .....what of the pub of the future?

    The farmer, unfortunately has been banned, - the reason, - probable risk of contamination of the environment due to his use of chemicals on his land. The soldiers will not come, as tales of battle are deemed racist and may upset genteel folk. The widow stays home. She likes to smoke and find the new restrictions on smoking oppressive, - restrictions brought about by the actions of government funded self-pressure groups whose members claim to seek fresh air, then are not content to amuse themselves at the local park  , - where fresh air is in abundance, - but choose to commandeer places where previously hospitality for all had been the norm. The clergyman too has left, as his dog-collar is deemed offensive and politically incorrect. The office workers now say their goodbyes by the reception desk, as finding an establishment capable of catering to the varied wants of groups of colleagues has become, ....well, more work.

    The lone occupant sits by the television set, sips his carrot juice, - alcoholic drinks having been prohibited, - risk of liver damage, you know, and watches the National Tiddlywinks Championships, - a programme that replaced the football matches of yesterday as all contact sports are now considered risks of causing injuries, - and thus are banned, and he notices that the contestants are wearing suitable eye, mouth and hearing protection. He wonders why the place is so silent, then recalls that in order to protect the hearing of clients and staff, music has been banned.

    The barmaid is waiting for a call from the employment agency, but the phone stay silent.

    The landlord, meanwhile is waiting for a call from his real estate agent, he waits, and waits.